Pack your suitcases, leave your fourth home, fourth town, leave your friends, music life project, great band, your cultural activism and move to another country because of the money? Yes. Sometimes it seems like the only right choice.
And it was. My lovely husband has moved in January this year. Our baby and I stayed at home, more than 1000 km away and wait for the right moment to move and be together again. Our apartness lasted 5 months. It’s a long period. And it was very hard period.
When we came, I’ve had enough money for everything. But I didn’t have things and people I left. And I started to record my thoughts only by voice, trying to make some new art project, to have something to dive in. But after 3 months since moving here, I didn’t publish it yet. Not saying I won’t. Something was missing.
And then, I realized: Wherever you move, you only, ONLY have to stay in good relationship with yourself. It’s not easy to do that when you struggle with a lot of things. But if you lose connection with yourself, you will struggle with yourself, too. Because we are so vulnerable when we LET ourselves to FEEL LOST.
After I realized this, I let everything I’ve left to stay where it is. Actually, I let myself move forward. Thanks to technology, my friends and I can talk to each other every time we want. But I let myself start totally new… me. I let myself start again. From the very beginning. And when you try to move for a big step, big jump, you have to stop for a moment, to be able to take a deep breath. And it is okay. But stay focused – because you know you want that jump.
How to stay in good relationship with yourself? Give yourself time to meet and cognize what you create and what’s happening to you. And move on.